Friday, October 28, 2011

An Adventure in Chinese Takeout

Well.... I've got a story for you.
Its a bit embarrassing..... the best ones all are.
It began on quiet Friday evening.
Being the trendsetter that I am, I was home alone, facing the prospect of a pile of homework the size of... well... a house.

The laundry too, was calling my name, in its always hopeless tone, knowing that I am deaf to its call until my last pair of pants is past the point of a perfume salvation...

What to do?

And then in dawned on me!
Chinese Food!
The answer to all my problems!
motivation to clean my pants! (for I would have to go out)
motivation to write my paper! (sustenance)

and last but not all, it would mean the completion of one of my life goals.

(let me take a bunny trail real quick... come, hop with me....)
It might seem strange to you that a college student such as myself has never ordered chinese take out.... But it is true.
indeed, it is a sad fact. But such is life.
Having seen Gilmore Girls and countless other tv shows, I had was always thought the whole "ordering take out thing" was a cool thing that all the cool kids did,  and I dreamed of the day that I too could join their ranks, standing tall (or rather, slumped on a couch,) eating gooey crab rangoon and sesame chicken. The fascinating white boxes of mystery were also high points of interest..... what could be better than delicious food packed into a delightful, iconic package, ready to be unwrapped and enjoyed??
In my mind? nothing.

So there I was alone on a Friday night having just made the decision.
But what to do next? Was this process like ordering pizza? Where do I find a menu?  To call or not to call? What was the protocol? Do Chinese places deliver? My knowledge gained from Gilmore girls tmade me think not... but in Stars Hollow, anything can happen.

I really was in a quandry. Over takeout.

Ridiculous I know.
But as an individual in the 21st century...... what was there to do but to Google it?

However, in this instance, Google failed me.

The last one gave me a bit of a giggle, but it was hopeless!
I was too simple for even an online search engine to help me.

But what was I to do?
Heaven forbid a make a fool of myself while Chinese food people!

The clock was ticking...... and so was my stomach (well, less ticking and more mumbling.... nomnomnom)

So I decided to go for it! To heck with the world! I was independent! I've lived on this earth for..... some.......years! That's long enough!

Donning my (rather smelly) pants and shoes (no socks) I traveled forth, confident and smiling.

I arrived at the establishment and ordered my food much in the normal manner, twas rather boring..... actually.

But then came the moment I had been waiting for! The handing over of the magic white boxes!!! The excitement was almost too much!

Yet this bliss was not to be had. The object of my hopes and dreams had been reduced to an ordinary styrofoam takeout box in a (*gasp) grocery sack!!
I was crushed.

I asked for an extra fortune cookie to make up for it, but it didnt help......
well, maybe a little.
Apparently one of you should be giving me some really great advice in the near future... either that, or there are 'lessons to be learned by listening to others..'

Sage advice, considering the evening.

Despite the excellence of fried rice and chicken, a smallish part of my heart is still a wee bit disappointed. 
But hey! I've still part of my dream! One day I'll get my paws on one of those white boxes.... one day!


  1. EP! I could read your blog for crack me up! I def want a small white box and just "happen" to know how to use chopsticks like a pro. Also, I want to eat a ton of it and never face the fact that it makes you f-a-t. Oh, how do the Gilmore Girls do it?! hehe Alas, I shall stick to pizza w/ ranch.

  2. When I moved out of my parents' house and had an evening all to myself with nothing but TV to keep me company, I too went to a Chinese take-out place. Society had taught me that single women everywhere enjoy Chinese alone on rainy evenings, so I obliged. I DID get the fun boxes...but the food was terrible! I couldn't even eat it! I'm glad I'm not alone! :-)